Being a nice guy may sound like positive terminology to the ideal man, but the reality is that trying to please others before yourself can cause many negative effects. In that case, here we have collection of wise words about ’No More Mr Nice Guy Quotes’ by Dr. Robert Glover to enlighten your personality.
Short biography about Dr. Robert Glover
Dr. Robert Glover has a PhD in psychotherapist and family therapist from Texas Woman’s University, Denton. He published his first pro-male therapy book No More Mr. Nice Guy on November 30th 2000. Since then, Dr Glover was the internationally recognized authority on Nice Guy Syndrome.
Now, He also frequently shares his knowledge through online classes, radio talk shows, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultations, and therapy groups.
The premise of Nice Guy Syndrome is the difference between caring and caretaking. He explains: ’A person with the nice guy syndrome is known to give. They like to give things, they like to fix things, they also like to caretake. There is a difference between caretaking and caring.’
Without further ado, read these ’No More Mr Nice Guy Quotes’. We divide the collection into several categories so that it is easy for you to read and choose specific quotes. Now enter ’No More Mr Nice Guy Quotes’.
No more Mr Nice Guy quotes about integrity and power
Developing integrity is an essential part of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome. My definition of integrity is deciding what feels right and doing it.
Choose one area in which you have been out of integrity. Identify your fear that keeps you from telling the truth or doing the right thing. Reveal this situation to a safe person.
Go and tell the truth or do what you have to do to make the situation right. Tell yourself you can handle it. Since telling the truth may create a crisis for you or others, have faith that everyone involved will survive this crisis.
Nice Guys have a difficult time comprehending that in general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy.
The unpredictability of not having their needs met in a timely, judicious fashion was not only frightening, it was potentially life-threatening.
If he asks himself what he believes is right but doesn’t do it, he is also out of integrity. Only by asking himself what he believes is right and then doing it does he become a man of integrity.
I define personal power as a state of mind in which a person is confident he can handle whatever may come. This kind of power not only successfully deals with problems, challenges and adversity, it actually welcomes them, meets them head on, and is thankful for them.
Personal power isn’t the absence of fear. Even the most powerful people have fear. Personal power is the result of feeling fear, but not giving in to the fear.
Masculinity empowers a man to create and produce. It also empowers him provide for and protect those who are important to him.
Dr. Robert Glover quotes about recovering on Nice Guy Syndrome
As Nice Guys stop seeking approval and stop trying to hide their perceived flaws, they open a door to start getting what they really want in love and life.
Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one’s self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion, as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side.
An integrated male doesn’t strive to be perfect or gain the approval of others. Instead, he accepts himself just as he is, warts and all. An integrated male accepts that he is perfectly imperfect.
Nice Guys are terrified of two kinds of feelings – their own and everyone else’s. Any kind of intensity causes Nice Guys to feel out of control.
Recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome is dependent on revealing one’s self and receiving support from safe people. It is essential, therefore, that men who want to break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome find safe people to assist them in this process.
The recovering Nice Guy can respond to life’s challenges by pondering. What do I need to learn from this situation?
In an attempt to cope with their childhood abandonment experiences, all Nice Guys developed the same paradigm: ’If I am good, then I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life.
Unfortunately, this paradigm not only produces the opposite of what is desired, it guarantees nothing but feelings of perpetual powerlessness.
Nice Guys are wimps. This may not sound like a nice thing to say, but it’s true. Nice Guys tend to be wimpy victims because their life paradigm and childhood survival mechanisms require them to sacrifice their personal power.
Thought-provoking no more mr nice guy quotes
In reality, the primary paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is nothing more than a big covert contract with life.
By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one – including themselves.
Do you believe that people can see your human imperfections and still love you? How would you be different if you knew the people who care about you would never leave you or stop loving you – no matter what?
Most Nice Guys will really like the last benefit on the list. Helpless, whiny, wimpy, and needy are not attractive on a man. Confidence and self-assurance are. Most folks are attracted to men who have a sense of self.
Putting the self-first doesn’t drive people away, it attracts them. Putting the self-first is essential for getting what one wants in love and life.
They’re really not trying to protect anyone from harm, they’re just trying to keep their world smooth and under control.
I define masculinity as that part of a man that equips him to survive as an individual, clan, and species. Without this masculine energy we would have all become extinct eons ago.
The seeking of external validation is just one way in which Nice Guys frequently do the opposite of what works. By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one – including themselves.
Beneath this facade of needlessness and wantlessness, all Nice Guys are actually extremely needy. Consequently, when they go about trying to get their needs met, Nice Guys are frequently indirect, unclear, manipulative, and controlling.
In dog obedience school we learned that if you want an undesirable behavior to go away, you stop paying attention to it.
No more Mr. nice guy quotes about life
Telling the truth is not a magic formula for having a smooth life. But living a life of integrity is actually easier than living one built around deceit and distortion.
IF I can hide my flaws and become what I think others want me to be. THEN I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life.
Life isn’t a merry-go-round, it’s a roller coaster. Life won’t always be smooth, it may not always be pretty, but it will be an adventure – one not to be missed.
There is plenty for everyone. Everything we need is flowing by us – all we have to do is get out of the way of our own small thinking and let it come.
List one fear that has been controlling your life. Once you decide to confront the fear, begin repeating to yourself, ’I can handle it. No matter what happens, I will handle it.’ Keep repeating this mantra until you take action and stop feeling fear.
Fathers need to take their sons hunting and fishing, work on cars with them, take them to work, coach their teams, take them to ball games, work out with them, take them on business trips, and let them tag along with them when they go out with the guys.
All of these activities help boys move successfully into the male world. This process is not just limited to a man’s biological sons. Nice Guys can get involved with young relatives, scouts, sports teams, school activities, or big brothers.
Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad, defective, different, or unlovable. Toxic shame is not just a belief that one does bad things, it is a deeply held core belief that one is bad.
No more mr nice guy quotes about relationships and sexuality
There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.
Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone’s approval or to avoid disapproval. — no more mr nice guy quotes
Relationships are messy and there is no way to eliminate the bumps and potholes, but we don’t have to make them any more difficult than they already are.
Sex is a basic human drive. Because most Nice Guys believe they are bad for being sexual, or believe that other people will think they are bad, sexual impulses have to be kept hidden from view.
Good sex consists of two people taking full responsibility for meeting their own needs. It has no goal. It is free of agendas and expectations. Rather than being a performance, it is an unfolding of sexual energy. It is about two people revealing themselves in the most intimate and vulnerable of ways.
Good sex occurs when two people focus on their own pleasure, passion, and arousal, and stay connected to those same things in their partner. All of these dynamics allow good sex to unfold in unpredictable, spontaneous, and memorable ways. — no more mr nice guy quotes
The very thing that makes sex so exciting is exactly what makes it so terrifying. Sex is powerful, chaotic, and wild. It crackles with cosmic energy. It draws us like a moth to a flame.
As recovering Nice Guys release their sexual shame and fear, take responsibility for their own pleasure, refuse to settle for bad sex, and practice being just who they are, they put themselves in the position to embrace this cosmic force without fear or reservation. This is when the sex really gets good.
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